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Hold Up!

🎬 I'm NOT your casual movie reviewer!

I don't do plot overviews or safe, spoiler-free summaries. For that stuff, there's Wikipedia.

What I DO: I share my raw, unfiltered experience and thoughts on movies and TV shows. That means MAJOR SPOILERS could hit you in the very first line of any review.

I talk about films the way you'd chat with a friend who's already seen them. No dancing around plot points. No vague hints. Just honest, spoiler-filled conversation.

You've been warned. Now let's have a real talk about movies! 🍿

CJ7 (2008)

Plot Summary: A poor construction worker and his young son struggle to make ends meet in a cramped, crumbling house. When the boy discovers a mysterious alien creature from a trash heap, he names it CJ7 and hopes it will grant him superpowers, instead he gets a poop machine gun and a broken heart. Chinese Title: ι•·ζ±Ÿ7θ™Ÿ (ChΓ‘ng Jiāng 7 HΓ o) Director: Stephen Chow Writers: Stephen Chow, Vincent Kok, Tsang Kan-Cheong, Sandy Shaw Lai-King, Fung Chi-Keung, Lam Fung Producers: Stephen Chow, Han Sanping, Po-Chu Chui Cinematography: Poon Hang-Sang Music: Raymond Wong Ying-Wah Starring: Stephen Chow as Ti Xu Jiao as Dicky Zhang Yuqi as Ms. Yuen Lam Chi-chung as Ti's Construction Boss Jiro Lee as Mr. Cao   ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ A Traumatic Trip Down Memory Lane I only have two more Stephen Chow movies left to watch to complete h...
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From Beijing With Love (1994)

Plot Summary: A bumbling, small-town pork butcher is secretly Agent Ling-ling-chat, China's answer to 007. Sent to recover a stolen dinosaur skull, he's armed with gadgets that do the wrong job, a partner who wants him dead, and a total absence of anything resembling competence. Carnage and absurdity ensue. Chinese Title: εœ‹η”’ε‡Œε‡ŒζΌ† (GuΓ³chǎn LΓ­nglΓ­ngqΔ«) Directors: Stephen Chow, Lee Lik-chi Writers: Stephen Chow, Roman Cheung / Vincent Kok, Lee Lik-chi Producers: Charles Heung, Jimmy Heung Music: William Hu Starring: Stephen Chow as Ling-ling-chat Anita Yuen as Lee Heung-kam Law Kar-ying as Tat Man-sai Wong Kam-kong as Golden Gun Pauline Chan as Mystery Woman Lee Lik-chi as Executed Martial Arts Master   ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ 007, Campiness, and The Shoe That Is A Hairdryer Today I'm continuing my exploration of Stephen...
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Crazy Racing (2021)

Plot Summary: A young dinosaur with possible psychic powers dreams of becoming a champion racer while helping his father's ice cream business. With the help of a gang of heroic ducks and some seriously questionable animation choices, he enters a death-defying race that's about as coherent as it sounds. Chinese Title: ζιΎ™ι£žθ½¦ (Konglong Feiche - "Dinosaur Racing") Directors: Zhu Guo-Yang, Ding Zhuo-Qun Writers: Cen Guo-Guang, Jin Xiao-Min Producers: Ding Zhuo-Qun, Lin Qi, Liang De-Si Music: Liu Fei-Fei Starring: Li Hui-Xian as Sloan Si Xi as Onion (the Girlfriend) Jialin Ye as Dago (the Father) Luo Ji-Shang as Scar   ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ Back in the Saddle with PS2-Era Dinosaurs Hello everyone, I'm finally back after a little three-month hiatus! I've been way too busy playing around with my new toy-a Pico VR head...
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Cinanima Festival - 9th November

My Last Day at Cinanima (With Eva) For my second and, ridiculously, last day (lol) in Espinho for the 49ΒΊ Cinanima Festival, I took my daughter Eva to the Family Screening. This one was called "Mini Micro," a selection of short animations put together by Casa de Animação, held on November 9th at the Centro Multimeios. I'm gutted that I couldn't stay for the whole week... 😞 I really wanted to see the international and national competition screenings. But for now, I'm just doing my own little competition here at Cine It. πŸ˜› So, here's the full list of the shorts we saw, ranked from my favorite to my least favorite. πŸ“… A Quick Note By the time I'm posting this, the festival is still running (it ends on November 23rd). If you're anywhere near Espinho, make sure you catch it. It's seriously worth the visit. πŸ₯‡ Cine It Gold: Tiger (2010) In first place, no contest, is Tiger (or Tige...
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Living Large (2024)

Plot Summary: A Czech stop-motion animation about a chubby 12-year-old named Ben (Pipetka) navigating the brutal realities of childhood obesity, bullying, and rejection, while trying to find joy in life despite being betrayed by his own body during puberty. Director: Kristina DufkovΓ‘ Written by: Petr JarchovskΓ½, Anna VΓ‘Ε‘ovΓ‘, Barbora DΕ™evikovskΓ‘ Based on: La vie, en gros (French bestseller) Produced by: MatΔ›j ChlupÑček Cinematography: VΓ‘clav Fronk Music: Michal Novinski Original Czech Voices: Hugo KovΓ‘cs, Tatiana DykovΓ‘, David NovotnΓ½, KlΓ‘ra MelΓ­Ε‘kovΓ‘ Portuguese Dubbed Version: Alexandre Carvalho as Ben Carolina Salles as Klara GonΓ§alo Lima as Erik AndrΓ© Ramos as Max Tiago Peralta as Ben's Father   A Trip to Espinho and a Stop-Motion Surprise This year, I decided to take the family on a 3-hour ride to Espinho for o...
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The Bad Guys 2 (2025)

Plot Summary: The Bad Guys are struggling to find trust and acceptance in their newly minted lives as Good Guys, when they are pulled out of retirement and forced to do "one last job" by an all-female squad of criminals. Director: Pierre Perifel Screenplay: Yoni Brenner, Etan Cohen Based on: The Bad Guys by Aaron Blabey Edited by: Jesse Averna Music: Daniel Pemberton Produced by: Damon Ross Starring: Sam Rockwell as Mr. Wolf Marc Maron as Mr. Snake Awkwafina as Ms. Tarantula / "Webs" Craig Robinson as Mr. Shark Anthony Ramos as Mr. Piranha Zazie Beetz as Diane Foxington / Crimson Paw Danielle Brooks as Kitty Kat Natasha Lyonne as Doom / "Susan" Maria Bakalova as Pigtail Petrova Alex Borstein as Misty Luggins Richard Ayoade as Professor Marmalade   ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ ...
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