In & Of Itself (2020)

Plot Summary: *In & Of Itself* is a thought-provoking theatrical experience that blends storytelling, illusion, and personal introspection. Derek DelGaudio leads the audience on a journey to explore identity, meaning, and the human connection. Through a series of mesmerizing performances and deeply emotional moments, the show challenges viewers to confront the question: "Who am I?"

Director: Frank Oz
Producer: Jake Friedman
Writer & Performer: Derek DelGaudio

Starring:
Derek DelGaudio as Himself

 

Magic is alive!

Let me start with WOW! I don’t even know what to say. This is a mind-blowing "movie" of a theater show, and I would give anything to go back in time and see it live, after somehow magically wiping it from my memory. Oh, wait, I’d still be broke and unable to travel to New York. Never mind. No spoilers here—this is a must-watch. I let myself get fully immersed, touched, and, honestly, left in tears. Derek DelGaudio creates this intoxicating blend of mystery, real magic, and raw human connection. I’ve always been a fan of mentalists like Derren Brown and David Blaine, but Derek? Derek operates on a completely different level. His show is laced with existential questions, deeply personal stories, and a remarkable ability to weave threads of humanity into every moment. I can’t even describe how this guy impressed me. You’ll be left wondering how? and how?! and HOW?! I was so floored that I immediately downloaded his book, Amoralman: A True Story and Other Lies, because I need more of this genius in my life.

From QAnon Mania to a New Perspective on Reality

Here’s a little something for the QAnon crowd: the show has a moment that might throw you for a loop. In the audience, you’ll spot Bill Gates and, yes, Marina Abramović. That f**cked me up for a second—there’s always been this weird connection I’ve felt toward Marina. And since we’re talking about personal connections, here’s a story for you: Back in the COVID days, I went through a manic episode fueled by QAnon conspiracy theories. Social media was ablaze, and it felt like the entire Cabal was on the verge of being exposed. I was obsessed. Convinced. I truly believed I was about to join the cause to save humanity from unspeakable horrors involving the sacrifice of children. But then, my mania shifted. Suddenly, I saw it all as a trick—a grand manipulation of the mind, pushing imagination to its darkest extremes until reality itself felt like a lie. At my peak, I was screaming "Godzilla!" on the street at 4 a.m. (because I saw it as a metaphor for the atom bomb, which, in my twisted logic, meant it never happened). Before that, I nearly killed myself during a reckless skateboard ride. Back at home as my fear shifted into a state of total disinhibition and kamikaze courage, I felt Marina Abramović was somehow close—watching me from the building across the street. It was the kind of vivid, surreal conviction that only a manic episode, fueled by paranoia and delusions, could create. There, that's something interesting to read about. Why am I telling you all this in a movie review? Because this is what In & Of Itself does. It cracks you open. It makes you pause, reflect, and question yourself. Who am I? I’m a Buddhist. I’m Bipolar. I’m a wannabe artist. A father. A walking contradiction. And yeah, I’m a movie critic, apparently.

An Artistic Mirror to the Human Experience

This show is a masterpiece—a cocktail of emotions that will leave you feeling exposed, connected, and, strangely enough, at peace. Thank you, Frank Oz, for bringing Derek’s vision to life on screen. And thank you, Derek, for the magic, the tears, and the overwhelming sense of humanity. Skip the clips I’m sharing here (they’re just for my own obsessive need for order) and go watch this now. No category ratings for this one—it’s a straight 100/100.

Our blog is currently being updated regularly!