Skip to main content

The Stepford Wives (2004)

Beautiful eyes Nicole Kidman

Plot Summary: Joanna Eberhart moves to Stepford, where wives are eerily perfect. She soon discovers a dark secret behind their submissive behavior and fights to uncover the truth.

Director: Frank Oz
Producer: Scott Rudin
Screenplay: Paul Rudnick

Starring:
Nicole Kidman as Joanna Eberhart
Matthew Broderick as Walter Kresby
Bette Midler as Bobbie Markowitz
Glenn Close as Claire Wellington
Christopher Walken as Mike Wellington
Roger Bart as Roger Bannister

 Freddy's Movie Review
***SPOILER ALERT***

The Stepford Faceplant

We carry on our trip through Oz’s filmography, but this time, we crash headfirst into a flaming pile of cinematic garbage. This movie is really, really bad. So bad, it almost feels insulting, like the writers thought their audience was made up of complete dumbasses who wouldn’t notice the absolute nonsense they were trying to pass off as a plot. And I mean nonsense. Here’s what happens, so you don’t have to waste your time: At first, the movie tells you that all the women in Stepford have been secretly replaced by robots, courtesy of their evil, insecure husbands. You even see sparks flying out of one of them, and just in case you’re too fuking dense to get it, another one literally spits out dollar bills like a human ATM. (which is a terrible, terrible idea on its own). But then, near the end, the movie suddenly changes its mind and says, “Nah, actually, they’re not robots! They just have brain implants!” So, with the press of a button, they can wake up from their robotic servitude. What the actual fuk? But wait! Even after all this is explained, there’s still a full-blown body double of Nicole Kidman ready for replacement. Pick a lane, movie! This isn’t just bad writing. It’s lazy, confused, and brain-meltingly stupid.


The Characters: Who Even Cares?

The pacing is all over the place, too. Time feels like it’s moving in random bursts, and the characters are so underdeveloped I couldn’t give a shit about any of them. Also, where the fuck are all the kids? They’re all just magically erased from the story. The acting? Well, Nicole Kidman and Glenn Close are doing their best, but even they can’t save this shitshow. Matthew Broderick is just there, being a bland, useless simp with zero chemistry with Kidman. Bette Midler is annoying as hell with her over-the-top “feminist” caricature, and Jon Lovitz is not funny. And by the way,, why didn’t Lovitz chip his wife right away? She’s the most irritating one in the whole town! Chris Walken is just doing his usual weirdo schtick, but even he can’t save this mess.


The Message: Heavy-Handed and Pointless

The soundtrack is passable, but honestly, who the hell cares about the music at this point? The only moment I actually enjoyed was the Orlando Bloom joke, which got a small chuckle out of me. The beginning of the movie tricked me into thinking I might be watching something interesting, but that hope was quickly crushed into dust. And the social commentary? It sucks. Like, are we lecturing five-year-olds in 2004? Do we, men, really need to be talked down to like this? Do we all dream of turning our wives into little robots and live in terror of strong, successful women? Well, okay, some probably do, but this stupid-ass movie isn’t going to open anyone’s eyes to society’s ingrained sexism. If anything, it just insults everyone in the process. So yeah. Don’t watch this. It’s not worth your time. Probably better off watching the 1975 original, since every other critic says it’s actually good. But I wouldn’t know. I need to wash this crap-fest out of my brain before I attempt another feminist dystopia. Frank Oz, my dude, what happened? This movie hurts my soul.


🎥 Cinematography (2/10):

Whatever.

📖 Story (0/10):

Incoherent and self-contradictory.

🎬 Direction (0/10):

Completely out of control.

👥 Characters (2/10):

Mostly unlikable or underdeveloped.

💥 Visual Effects (2/10):

I hate that robo-dog.

🎭 Acting (4/10):

Nicole Kidman and Glenn Close deserved a better movie.

💬 Dialogue (1/10):

Cringe-worthy, unfunny, and simplistic.

🌍 Setting/Atmosphere (1/10):

Whatever.

🎵 Music (3/10):

Whatever.

😄 Entertainment Value (1/10):

One or two chuckles, a frustrating watch.

Final score: 16/100
Our blog is currently being updated regularly!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Score (2001)

Plot Summary: Nick Wells, a veteran safe-cracker ready to retire and settle with his girlfriend Diane, is pulled into one last heist by his fence Max. Partnered with ambitious thief Jack Teller, they aim to steal a priceless French scepter from the Montreal Customs House, facing tension, trust issues, and betrayal. Director: Frank Oz Producers: Gary Foster, Lee Rich Screenplay: Kario Salem (story and screenplay), Daniel E. Taylor (story), Lem Dobbs, Scott Marshall Smith Starring: Robert De Niro as  Nick Wells Edward Norton as Jack Teller/Brian Marlon Brando as Max,  Angela Bassett as Diane   ***SPOILER ALERT*** A Heist Worth the Hype Finally got around to continuing my Frank Oz film journey, and tonight’s pick was The Score. A two-hour-and-forty-minute heist flick that I had been saving for when I had some serious s...

10 Lives (2024)

Plot Summary: Beckett, a spoiled and selfish housecat, takes his nine lives for granted. After recklessly losing his final life, he is granted ten more—but with a catch. Director: Chris Jenkins Producers: Karen Wengrod, Ken Cinnamon, Ash Brannon, Ernesto Matamoros, Leland Cox Screenplay: Chris Jenkins, Karen Wengrod, Ken Cinnamon Starring: Mo Gilligan as Beckett Simone Ashley as Rose Ashley Sophie Okonedo as Grace Zayn Malik as Kirk and Cameron Dylan Llewellyn as Larry Llewellyn Jeremy Swift as Happy Bill Nighy as Professor Richard Craven   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Nine Lives Too Many Saturday afternoon with 10 Lives, directed by Christopher Jenkins. Jenkins has been in animation since at least 1988, starting as an effects animator on Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Now he brings us this 2024 film about Beckett, a selfish cat who loses his las...

Straw (2025)

Plot Summary: Janiyah Wiltkinson (Taraji P. Henson), a desperate single mother of a seriously ill daughter, spirals through eviction, job loss, and tragedy in one catastrophic day. In a last-ditch attempt to get medicine, she starts a bank standoff — but a shocking twist reveals her daughter actually died hours earlier, and Janiyah has been dissociating from reality. Eventually, with support from a bank manager and detective, she surrenders peacefully amid growing public sympathy. Director & Writer: Tyler Perry Producer(s): Tyler Perry Cinematography: Justyn Moro Music: Dara Taylor Editing: Nick Coker Cast: Taraji P. Henson as Janiyah Wiltkinson Sherri Shepherd as Nicole (bank manager) Teyana Taylor as Detective Raymond Sinbad as Benny Glynn Turman as Richard (Janiyah’s boss) Rockmond Dunbar as Chief Wilson Ashley Versher as Tessa  ...

King of the Children (1987)

Plot Summary: Set during China's Cultural Revolution, The King of Children tells the story of Lao Gan, an educated youth sent to a remote village in the Yunnan-Guizhou region to work as a teacher. Director: Chen Kaige Producers: Xi'An Film Studio Screenplay: Adapted from Ah Cheng's novella with the same name Starring: Xie Yuan as Lao Gan Chen Shaohua as Principal Chen Yang Xuewen as Wang Fu   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Jumping Into Chinese Cinema Blindfolded Hey everyone. So, back in January, the internet had a little moment, and suddenly, millions of Americans rushed to a Chinese social media app called Red Note. I got curious, joined in, and ended up discovering a whole new world of culture thanks to some incredibly welcoming Chinese users. Naturally, I decided to ask for movie recommendations, and wow, they flooded in. But despite all the amazing suggestion...

Echo Valley (2025)

Plot Summary: Grieving widow Kate Garrett (J. Moore) struggles to keep her Pennsylvania horse farm afloat after losing her wife. When her estranged, drug-addicted daughter Claire (S. Sweeney) returns bloodied and in distress, a gripping thriller unfolds as Kate fights to protect her child, confronting escalating danger, moral dilemmas, and the lengths a mother will go to save her kids. Director: Michael Pearce Screenplay: Brad Ingelsby Producers: Brad Ingelsby, Ridley Scott, Michael Pruss, Kevin J. Walsh Music: Jed Kurzel Cinematography: Benjamin Kračun Starring: Julianne Moore as Kate Garrett Sydney Sweeney as Claire Garrett Domhnall Gleeson as Jackie Kyle MacLachlan as Richard Garrett Fiona Shaw as Jessie Oliver Edmund Donovan as Ryan   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Cheese, Wine and Echo Valley Alright, so picture this. It’s a ...

Deep Cover (2025)

Plot Summary: An improv comedy teacher (Bryce Dallas Howard) and two of her students (Orlando Bloom, Nick Mohammed) are recruited by a corrupt cop (Sean Bean) to go undercover. They infiltrate London's criminal world, using their acting skills to catch a gang, only to find themselves deeper in danger and needing to improvise their way out. Director: Tom Kingsley Screenplay: Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly, Ben Ashenden, Alexander Owen Producers: Colin Trevorrow, Walter F. Parkes, Laurie MacDonald Music: Daniel Pemberton Cinematography: Will Hanke Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard as Kat Boyles Orlando Bloom as Marlon Swift Nick Mohammed as Hugh Sean Bean as DS Graham Billings Paddy Considine as Fly Ian McShane as Metcalfe Sonoya Mizuno as Shosh Studio / Distributor: Metronome Film Company, Parkes+MacDonald Image Nation / Amazon Prime Video ...