Freddy's Cine It

Plot Summary: A poor construction worker and his young son struggle to make ends meet in a cramped, crumbling house. When the boy discovers a mysterious alien creature from a trash heap, he names it CJ7 and hopes it will grant him superpowers, instead he gets a poop machine gun and a broken heart. Chinese Title: 長江7號 (Cháng Jiāng 7 Hào) Director: Stephen Chow Writers: Stephen Chow, Vincent Kok, Tsang Kan-Cheong, Sandy Shaw Lai-King, Fung Chi-Keung, Lam Fung Producers: Stephen Chow, Han Sanping, Po-Chu Chui Cinematography: Poon Hang-Sang Music: Raymond Wong Ying-Wah Starring: Stephen Chow as Ti Xu Jiao as Dicky Zhang Yuqi as Ms. Yuen Lam Chi-chung as Ti's Construction Boss Jiro Lee as Mr. Cao   ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ A Traumatic Trip Down Memory Lane I only have two more Stephen Chow movies left to watch to complete h...

Plot Summary: Set in a future where the sun is dying, humanity builds enormous engines to propel Earth out of the solar system toward a new star. When Earth passes Jupiter, a gravitational spike threatens the planet, and a group of heroes must race against time to restart a failed engine and save humanity from extinction. Director: Frant Gwo Screenplay: Gong Geer, Frant Gwo, Junce Ye, Yan Dongxu, Yang Zhixue, Ruchang Ye (based on the novella by Liu Cixin) Music: Roc Chen, Liu Tao Cinematography: Michael Liu Starring: Qu Chuxiao as Liu Qi Li Guangjie as Wang Lei Ng Man-tat as Han Zi'ang Zhao Jinmai as Han Duoduo Wu Jing as Liu Peiqiang   ***SPOILER ALERT*** A Belated Promise and a Grand Premise A few months ago, I promised my friends on the Chinese social media app Red Note that I'd review some Chinese movies. Unlike other platforms whe...

Plot Summary: Told in three acts moving backward in time, the film chronicles the life of Charles 'Chuck' Krantz. It begins with his death at age 39, which coincides with apocalyptic events, and moves back to his childhood in a supposedly haunted house, exploring the universe contained within a single life. Director: Mike Flanagan Screenplay: Mike Flanagan (based on the novella by Stephen King) Producers: Trevor Macy, Mike Flanagan Music: The Newton Brothers Cinematography: Eben Bolter Editor:   Mike Flanagan Starring: Tom Hiddleston as Charles Krantz Mark Hamill as Albie Chiwetel Ejiofor as Marty Anderson Karen Gillan as Felicia Gordon Jacob Tremblay as Young Charles Krantz   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Let me start with wtf is wrong with people... After a quick trip to the IMDb page for The Life of Chuck, I have one thi...

Plot Summary: Joanna Eberhart moves to Stepford, where wives are eerily perfect. She soon discovers a dark secret behind their submissive behavior and fights to uncover the truth. Director: Frank Oz Producer: Scott Rudin Screenplay: Paul Rudnick Starring: Nicole Kidman as Joanna Eberhart Matthew Broderick as Walter Kresby Bette Midler as Bobbie Markowitz Glenn Close as Claire Wellington Christopher Walken as Mike Wellington Roger Bart as Roger Bannister   ***SPOILER ALERT*** The Stepford Faceplant We carry on our trip through Oz’s filmography, but this time, we crash headfirst into a flaming pile of cinematic garbage. This movie is really, really bad. So bad, it almost feels insulting, like the writers thought their audience was made up of complete dumbasses who wouldn’t notice the absolute nonsense they were trying to pass off as a p...

Plot Summary: Two high school juniors, Eli and Danny, crash a New Year's Eve party in 1999, only to find themselves fighting for survival when the Y2K bug causes electronics to turn homicidal. Director: Kyle Mooney Producers: Jonah Hill, Matt Dines, and more Screenplay: Kyle Mooney, Evan Winter Starring: Jaeden Martell as Eli (Main character) Julian Dennison as Danny (Chubby friend) Rachel Zegler as Laura (Hacker Girl) Eduardo Franco as Billy (Bully kid) Kyle Mooney as Barry (Supporting character) Fred Durst as Himself Tim Heidecker as Eli's Father   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Nostalgia Misfired: A Journey Back to 1999 Gone Wrong I picked this randomly from this year's batch of movies because Y2K sounded like a good nostalgic escape. Who's the millennial who doesn't want to go back to the era of 56k modem dial-up interne...

Director: Luc Besson Producers: Virginie Besson-Silla Screenplay: Luc Besson Starring: Dane DeHaan as Valerian Cara Delevingne as Laureline Clive Owen as Commander Arün Filitt Rihanna as Bubble Ethan Hawke as Jolly the Pimp Herbie Hancock as Defence Minister Kris Wu as Sergeant Neza Music: Alexandre Desplat Cinematography: Thierry Arbogast Editing: Julien Rey Release Date: July 21, 2017 (USA) Running Time: 137 minutes Language: English   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Overloaded and Underwhelming And we’re back in the shit! I’m starting to get in a hurry to finish Luc Besson’s movies. "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" is boring, boring, boring, because there are too many aliens, too many gadgets, too many costumes, too much imagination...

Director: Luc Besson Producer: Virginie Besson-Silla Screenplay: Luc Besson Starring: Scarlett Johansson as Lucy Morgan Freeman as Professor Norman Choi Min-sik as Mr. Jang Amr Waked as Pierre Del Rio Music: Éric Serra Cinematography: Thierry Arbogast Editing: Julien Rey Release Date: July 25, 2014 Running Time: 89 minutes Language: English/Taiwanese Mandarin/Korean/French   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Revisiting Lucy Here we are with another movie revisit, this time for "Lucy," the follow-up to "The Family." When I first saw this film in 2014, I was very critical of its scientific aspects (I’ll leave my 2014 comments below). However, watching it now, I found myself having fun! It’s stupid but entertaining, and I’m giving it a higher score. This is one...

Director: Luc Besson Producer: Patrice Ledoux Screenplay: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen Starring: Bruce Willis as Korben Dallas Milla Jovovich as Leeloo Gary Oldman as Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg Ian Holm as Father Vito Cornelius Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod Music: Éric Serra Cinematography: Thierry Arbogast Editing: Sylvie Landra Release Date: May 7, 1997 (Cannes), May 9, 1997 (France), May 9, 1997 (USA) Running Time: 126 minutes Language: English, Fictional Language ***SPOILER ALERT*** Nostalgic Beginnings with Bruce Willis Off to the seventh movie in our Luc Besson marathon! I remember watching "The Fifth Element" on VHS at my aunt's house back in 1998. Fun fact: my aunt is a fan of Luc Besson and has won several awards for sound engineering in...