Plot Summary: In 1903 New York, a former gunslinger who has sworn off violence gets pulled back into a world of crime and betrayal when family secrets and old enemies resurface.
Director: Brian Skiba
Screenplay: Brian Skiba
Producers: Randall Batinkoff, Brian Skiba, Laurie Love, Scott Reed
Cinematography: Patrice Lucien Cochet
Music: Richard Patrick
Starring:
Nicolas Cage as Ben
Stephen Dorff as Thomas Keller
Heather Graham as Val
Scarlet Rose Stallone as Bella
Tzi Ma as Lin
Jeremy Kent Jackson as Robert Keller
Costas Mandylor as Jericho
***SPOILER ALERT***
An AI-Generated Mess
The first thing that hits you when Gunslingers starts is an AI slop rendition of New York in 1903. Oh boy, I thought, we're off to a great start. The film then throws this bizarre mix at you: amateur-looking shots that seem filmed on a smartphone are intercut with genuinely good cinematography, creating a really weird visual clash. I went into this knowing nothing except that Nic Cage was in it, and I just wanted some classic Cage for the night. Initially, the storytelling seemed intriguing, like it was actually going somewhere. But then our veteran actors show up, and their performances are just laugh-out-loud over the top. It sometimes feels intentional, but you quickly realize it's absolutely not.
Watch Heather Graham's awful acting as she takes a bullet out of her own leg in the clip below. I'm sorry, Heather, I do still like you.
Cringe Cage and B-Movie Vibes
The music choices cement the film's B-movie feel. The soundtrack is just so f***ing stupid, overly dramatic tracks are constantly and abruptly shoved in, completely missing the vibe of the scenes. I have a strong feeling the music was generated by AI, too. The whole movie is childish, totally predictable, and tries way too hard to be cool. The biggest anticipation it manages to build is waiting for Nicolas Cage's cringy character to finally drop his "God doesn't want me to use weapons" promise and start shooting people. That, and waiting for the movie to end, of course. Cage is just really cringe here, and you can tell the director, Brian Skiba, just loves pointing the camera at him in completely useless moments simply because he's Nic Cage. I don't blame him, Cage is the only reason I watched this crap, but man, focus on making a movie!
Below you can see the part where Nic Cage delivers the line, "This here is an interesting book. Is Bible." Wtf was that, really? π
A Waste of Talent and Time
The story is bland and brings nothing new to the table; I'm half-convinced ChatGPT wrote it. The worst part is that Brian Skiba tries to keep it "interesting" by using cheap soap opera techniques. You get all the classic family intrigue tropes like, "Oh gosh, he is his brother!" and "Oh no, that's not his daughter!" It's stupid AF. Stephen Dorff and Randall Batinkoff are the only two actors who manage to do something good here, but this movie was a terrible career choice and a complete waste of their efforts. After a brief visit to Brian Skiba's IMDb profile, I've officially added him to Freddy's blacklist; all his movies have terrible ratings. How this guy hasn't given up yet baffles me. I'm all for people pursuing their dreams, as I said in my previous review for The New King of Comedy, but this guy needs to surround himself with people who aren't afraid to criticize his work and who actually understand good cinema. Life is too short to waste on his stuff. I'm giving it an extra point just for Stallone's daughter, Scarlet. She is gorgeous.
For the last clip, watch the ultra-lame scene where the "boys" get their guns back. This is the prime example of the movie's terrible logic and even worse music choices.
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