Skip to main content
⚠️

Hold Up!

🎬 I'm NOT your casual movie reviewer!

I don't do plot overviews or safe, spoiler-free summaries. For that stuff, there's Wikipedia.

What I DO: I share my raw, unfiltered experience and thoughts on movies and TV shows. That means MAJOR SPOILERS could hit you in the very first line of any review.

I talk about films the way you'd chat with a friend who's already seen them. No dancing around plot points. No vague hints. Just honest, spoiler-filled conversation.

You've been warned. Now let's have a real talk about movies! 🍿

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (2010)

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec (2010) movie poster featuring Louise Bourgoin

Director: Luc Besson
Producer: Luc Besson
Screenplay: Luc Besson

Starring:
Louise Bourgoin as Adèle Blanc-Sec
Mathieu Amalric as Dieuleveult
Gilles Lellouche as Inspector Caponi
Jean-Paul Rouve as Justin de Saint-Hubert
Jacky Nercessian as Professor Ménard
Philippe Nahon as Professor Espérandieu
Nicolas Giraud as Andréj Zborowski

Music: Éric Serra
Cinematography: Thierry Arbogast
Editing: Julien Rey
Release Date: April 14, 2010 (France)
Running Time: 107 minutes
Language: French
 Freddy's Movie Review
***SPOILER ALERT***

What the fuck, Besson?


13th movie by Luc Besson and I ask: what the fuck Besson? What has happened to this director since "Arthur and the Mini Vomits"? Another uninspiring and totally boring movie. I ordered some food 40 minutes in just to bring some happiness to my existence. Luc should be ashamed of this because it disrespects the author of the comic books, Jacques Tardi, by making me lose any curiosity in getting to know the comic books. Movies and adaptations are meant to do exactly the opposite! I don't feel like looking at one of these comic books ever after watching this terrible mess of a movie. Major pacing problems, no build-up to the characters or story, and sometimes I even get confused about what the fuck is happening because 1. I'm bored out of my mind or 2. The editing and sequence of the scenes is just terrible. Bad, bad, bad storytelling. And that CGI of Adèle on top of the pterodactyl?! So goddamn ugly. That one scene sums up the whole feel of the movie. The attempts at comedy are horrible once again, and I'm speechless at how any cinema critic can give this movie a positive word. It just proves that every motherfuckin' critic out there, especially from magazines like Variety, Empire, and whatever, are all bought. No one is telling the truth. No way, José.


A Stupid Story with Stupid Characters


Let me tell you, I'm okay with the absurd, I'm okay with the fantastic, but this story?! It's just so fucking stupid. When they got to the Louvre to awaken the mummies in order to find the pharaoh doctor's mummy to cure the catatonic state of Adèle's sister, I was not even watching it anymore. I was already on my phone looking for hateful reviews on this to get a sense of connection, to feel like I belong somewhere united by this hate for disjointed, depressing things. I'm pissed off. It's been one hour since I watched this movie, and one day since I watched "Arthur," and I don't know what to think of my life now. I feel like giving up on Luc Besson's filmography. Especially because I remember watching "Lucy" and not being impressed, and I remember watching "The Family" and thinking that De Niro sucked. So, I'm afraid that I will end up smashing my TV or some of my furniture, because when I hate, I hate with a passion. I'm thinking happy thoughts now, "Le Grand Bleu," happy thoughts... "Léon: The Professional"... (long breath out). Ok, so what's good about this movie? Maybe the former weather girl for "Le Grand Journal," Louise Bourgoin, because she's cute to look at and early 20th-century Paris setting, that's about it.


Is It for Adults or Kids?


I don't even understand if this movie is intended for an adult audience or children. It reads like a kid's movie. I would love to hear from a true fan of the comic book what they thought of this movie. Please, if you happen to be one, tell me in the comments. Tell me what's wrong with me if it's the case that this movie is amazing and I'm not able to appreciate its beauty and laugh out loud at every costume change that our hero uses to get inside the prison. Please, teach me, or I will rip my eyes out!


🎥 Cinematography (2/10):

Paris was interesting.

📖 Story (0/10):

Disjointed mess.

🎬 Direction (0/10):

Again, a total disappointment.

👥 Characters (0/10):

All boring.

💥 Visual Effects (0/10):

LOL!

🎭 Acting (5/10):

Ok, whatever.

💬 Dialogue (2/10):

At least they speak French!

🌍 Setting/Atmosphere (3/10):

I like the early 20th century Paris.

🎵 Music (1/10):

Who cares? I remember some stupid drastic changes of tone that sounded awful.

😄 Entertainment Value (0/10):

This is plain torture.

Our blog is currently being updated regularly!
More from Cine It

🎬 Adventure Movies List
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kpop Demon Hunters (2025)

Plot Summary: Three talented young K-pop trainees discover they have supernatural abilities to battle ancient demons lurking in modern-day Korea. They must balance their demanding training for a much-anticipated debut with their secret mission to protect the world. Directors: Maggie Kang, Chris Appelhans Screenplay: Danya Jimenez, Hannah McMechan, Maggie Kang, Chris Appelhans Producer: Michelle Wong Music: Marcelo Zarvos Starring: Arden Cho as Rumi May Hong as Mira Ji-young Yoo as Zoey Ahn Hyo-seop as Jinu Yunjin Kim as Celine Ken Jeong as Bobby Lee Byung-hun as Gwi-Ma   ***SPOILER ALERT*** Peer Pressure & Pleasant Surprises My daughter came home from school the other day looking like she'd been left out of the cool kids' club because she was the only one who hadn't seen Kpop Demon Hunters. I knew right then my Satur...
2 comments
Click to read

Shaolin Soccer (2001)

Plot Summary: A former Shaolin monk reunites his scattered brothers to form a soccer team, combining their extraordinary martial arts skills with the sport to compete for a major tournament and restore the dignity and reputation of Shaolin kung fu in the modern world. Director: Stephen Chow Writers: Stephen Chow, Tsang Kan-cheung Producer: Yeung Kwok-Fai Cinematography: Kwen Pak-Huen, Kwong Ting-wo Editor: Kai Kit-Wai Music: Lowell Lo, Raymond Wong Starring: Stephen Chow as Mighty Steel Leg Sing Zhao Wei as Mui Ng Man-tat as Golden Leg Fung Patrick Tse as Hung Wong Yat-fei as Iron Head Tin Kai-man as Iron Shirt Danny Chan as Empty Hand   ***SPOILER ALERT*** A Disconnect Gone Wrong The world seems to be going completely insane. Between the Charlie Kirk assassination and the subsequent censoring of p...
Post a Comment
Click to read

La Mante (2017)

Plot Summary: Twenty-five years after being imprisoned, Jeanne Deber, a notorious serial killer known as "The Mantis," offers to help the police catch a copycat killer, but only if she can work with her estranged son, who is now a police officer. Director: Alexandre Laurent Writers: Alice Chegaray-Breugnot, Nicolas Jean, Grégoire Demaison, Laurent Vivier Music: François Lietout Starring: Carole Bouquet as Jeanne Deber / The Mantis Fred Testot as Damien Carrot Jaques Weber as Charles Carrot Pascal Demolon as Dominique Feracci Manon Azem as Lucie Carrot Serge Riaboukine as Crozet Robinson Stevenin as Alex Crozet Fredérique Bel as Virginie Delorme Jump to the Plot Explained Section   ***SPOILER ALERT*** A Boring, Wannabe Hannibal Lecter This is officially the first TV series review I'm doing here at Cine It. I'm no...
Post a Comment
Click to read

Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

Plot Summary: In 1940s Shanghai, a wannabe gangster named Sing aspires to join the notorious Axe Gang. His bungled attempt to extort the residents of Pig Sty Alley inadvertently leads to a gang war that gradually reveals surprising martial arts masters hiding among the slum's humble residents. Directors: Stephen Chow Writers: Stephen Chow, Huo Xin, Chan Man-keung, Tsang Kan-cheung Story by: Stephen Chow Cinematography: Poon Hang-sang Edited by: Angie Lam Music by: Raymond Wong Starring: Stephen Chow as Sing Danny Chan as Brother Sum Yuen Qiu as Landlady Yuen Wah as Landlord Leung Siu-lung as Beast Xing Yu as Coolie Chiu Chi-ling as Tailor Dong Zhihua as Donut Lam Chi-chung as Bone Huang Shengyi as Fong Tin Kai-man as Adviser Gar Hong-hay and Fung Hak-on as Harpists Introduction: A ...
Post a Comment
Click to read

The Pest (1997)

The Pest is a 1997 American black comedy film directed by Paul Miller inspired by the classic 1924 Richard Connell short story "The Most Dangerous Game". It stars comedian John Leguizamo. The Pest was a box office bomb. The film came in at #12 in its opening weekend at the box office, with a gross of $1.8 million from 1,205 theaters. The film grossed a total of $3.6 million against an estimated budget of $8 million. source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pest_(1997_film) Miami scam artist Pest Vargas is on the run from the Scottish mob and a German headhunter, the mob after 50,000 dollars, the German guy after his head. Pest dons many disguises in an attempt to evade their clutches. source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119887/ ***SPOILER ALERT*** A Chaotic Start to Leguizamo Week FREDDY: And here we have the first film starring John Leguizamo. I must admit that I should have listened to the film critics f...
Post a Comment
Click to read

Sentimental Value (2025)

Plot Summary: A film director wants to make a movie. His family has feelings about it. Two hours and thirteen minutes pass. Acclaimed by everyone except me. Norwegian Title: Affeksjonsverdi Director: Joachim Trier Writers: Eskil Vogt, Joachim Trier Producers: Maria Ekerhovd, Andrea Berentsen Ottmar Cinematography: Kasper Tuxen Editing: Olivier Bugge Coutté Music: Hania Rani Starring: Renate Reinsve as Nora Borg Stellan Skarsgård as Gustav Borg Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas as Agnes Borg Pettersen Elle Fanning as Rachel Kemp Anders Danielsen Lie as Jakob Jesper Christensen as Michael   ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ A Universally Acclaimed Snoozefest Today I bring you the movie... let me check my notes again. Ah, right: Sentimental Value. What a boooooring movie. That's it, thank you for reading. But seriously, le...
Post a Comment
Click to read