The Kitchen in Paris (2014)

Plot Summary: The beloved team from Moscow's Claude Monet restaurant is thrust into a high-stakes mission: cook a state dinner for two presidents. What follows is a parade of mishaps, personal dramas, and shenanigans abroad, best appreciated by those already deeply invested in the characters from the TV series.

Russian Title: Кухня в Париже (Kukhnya v Parizhe)
Director: Dmitriy Dyachenko
Writers: Dmitriy Yan, Vasiliy Kutsenko, Pavel Danilov, Igor Tudvasev
Based on: Kitchen (TV series) by Dmitriy Dyachenko, Zhora Kryzhovnikov and Anton Fedotov

Starring:
Dmitry Nazarov as Viktor Barinov, the head chef
Mark Bogatyryov as Maxim "Max" Lavrov, a cook
Yelena Podkaminskaya as Viktoria "Vika" Goncharova, the restaurant's director
Dmitry Nagiyev as himself, the owner of both restaurants
Oleg Tabakov as Petr Barinov, Viktor's father and head chef of the restaurant Victor in Paris
Vincent Perez as Nicolas DuPont, the Chief of Protocol of the French President and Vika's boyfriend
Viktor Khorinyak as Konstantin "Kostya" Anisimov, the bartender
Olga Kuzmina as Anastasia "Nastya" Anisimova, a waitress and Kostya's wife

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️

 

A Family Reunion Strictly for the Fans

This year I finally caught up on the first three seasons of the Russian TV show The Kitchen (Kukhnya). It's a series I absolutely love and have a blast watching. Since The Kitchen in Paris takes place right after the third season, I decided to sit down and review it, mostly because I wish I had time to review the individual seasons, but unfortunately, I don't. Right off the bat, I would not recommend this movie to anyone who hasn't watched the show. While it was kinda cool and heartwarming for me to see the whole Kukhnya family traveling to Paris, this movie is going to completely suck for a newcomer. What also sucks is the grey aspect of this film where a not-so-subtle comedic homophobia lies. Honestly, do you really think inviting gay men to a restaurant would fill your place with just men? I have this idea that gay men usually hang around a lot of women. To top it off, poor Louis gets his nose broken, which felt like a wildly violent reaction from the Chef. This kind of homophobia pops up in some episodes of the TV series too; you can judge it for yourself, but it's enough for me to note it and feel a little uncomfortable.

Watch the clip below where the Chef realizes his restaurant is full of gay men because of Louis.

The Nagiev Show

On a much brighter note, my absolute favorite character from the whole franchise is, without a doubt, Dmitry Nagiev. He plays a cocky, snobbish, successful actor version of himself, and the guy just cracks me up every single time. I kept having flashbacks to that one episode where he tries to sleep with Viktoria and starts talking with a Japanese accent, claiming he is a samurai! 🤣🤣 If you understand a bit of Russian, you will always find something to laugh at with the specific terminologies he uses. Then there's Kostya, another favorite of mine. During one scene in the movie, it looked like Kostya was having some unfaithful "waka-waka" with a French waitress. My wife got genuinely scared and even let out a sound of disappointment. I immediately told her, "There's no way they are ruining the character of Kostya, you are crazy!" And I was right. Kostya represents that naive, faithful, strong, and surprisingly smart or resourceful aspect of the perfect Russian man. But let's go back to Nagiev, a much more flawed man with endless shenanigans, like proudly admitting the only thing he learned in German class was the word "banana." Watch it in the clip below.

Watch the clip below of Dmitry's hilarious interactions with the French President's Chief of Protocol and Viktoria.

Cartoonish Plots, Rough Montages, and Real-World Blues

Ultimately, I found the movie a bit more cartoonish than the series, filled with unbelievable, poorly thought-out scenarios, like Putin dining on a small boat exposed to massive security risks just because the team of "invalids" messed things up once again. The plot is weak as hell, and Viktor's father being the great reveal just doesn't hit because their relationship is so superficially explored. What saves the movie from being a total disappointment is that familiar affection I have for this whole bunch of debils and their charismatic chef, Viktor Barinov. The absolute worst part, though, was the insufferable, repetitive scenes with Max and Viktoria. It was tiresome watching them go back and forth in their usual drama that inevitably leads to sex-cut montages. The sex was actually a little more rough in this movie, though, someone was definitely trying to make a point about Russia's virility for sure! That side-by-side montage of them trying to meet up? Yuck! I think I actually started hating Max here because of his stupid decisions, accumulated with all the stupid shit he already did in the show.

On a more personal note, watching this made me a little sad realizing how massive the divide is today between Europe and Russia. It takes me back to a time when I could fly to Russia in five hours without being broke for the rest of the year. Selfish way to look at things, right? Well, fuck me, but that's the personal effect the war in Ukraine has on me, even though I'm deeply sorry for all the horrors and loss on both sides. Anyway, use this review as a sign to watch the excellent Russian comedy TV series. Just don't be put off by its strange soundtrack choices, it's kinda like the opening song of Firefly; it's bad at first, but then it becomes its own endearing thing. (...sorry for the super niche reference, I know I'm drifting far away here...) By the way, if you've watched the show, what's your favorite moment ever? Mine is Season 1, Episode 12, when Kostya and Nastya's fake argument turns into a real fight. I was in tears.

Watch a little bit of Kostya in action below, taking forever to get an order for two glasses of wine from the French guy.

📥 Download English Subtitles (SRT)

English subtitles for The Kitchen in Paris (2014), available for download below.

Download The Kitchen in Paris Subtitles

Freddy's Final Rating

54

Max and Vika seriously drag down this score.

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